AND I FORGOT IT WAS.... =A=;;

So, yeah, right now I'm just wrapping Christmas Gifts and such. =w=~

I'm also thinking about New Years Revelations.

Anywhooo...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone~~ And Happy birthday to someone too...~

So.....

It's 5:30 Am....

Why I am awake you ask?

I HAVE NO F***ING IDEA....

Last night I got, really really hurt.... By the person I loved most.... So hurt, and for a moment before I went to bed I thought I'd be ok, that'd be be the same as the other times.

No, this time I'm actually losing SLEEP.... Which NEVER HAPPENS...!! >A<

..... I was willing to wait for him, to try and see him, I was ready to give everything to him, I actually, already did...

Like the rest, he didn't want any of it. For better reasons this time I suppose except one, but, I'll keep that one to myself from here.

.... Wow... It's 5:34 am and I'm typing a journal that I never ever update....

And for some reason, I have this strange feeling that I've been punk'd or something... Like it was all a joke in the first place and I was just too stupid to catch onto the game or naive to think of it as anything else.

I was hopeful.

I was really hopeful he'd be different, and he was, but the result was the same...

Always the same with them all I suppose...

I thought I was prepared.... I had imagined every kind of bad scenario that could've happened if we had gotten together, or if we had met. It was always and image of either him with my friend, loving someone I knew, or... He'd be grinning at me saying something that he probably wouldn't say, something cruel or mean that others have said to me...

It turns out I wasn't as prepared as I thought....

I never thought it would happen really, but the advice my older friends gave me is true.

1. Long distance never works.
2. Long distance is too much work.
3. Long distance could only work for so long.
4. If there is no physical attraction what so ever, then any kind of emotional attraction doesn't matter. If you're not hot to them, then anything you feel for them doesn't matter.

You could be the nicest, sweetest person around, but for instance if your breasts aren't up to par, or you're not slender and beautiful, then no one will ever love you apparently.

I never believed in that. I always believed that it's what on the inside that counts. That it's usually someone's inside person that causes people to fall in love with you.

Till now.

It's not that I don't think I'm attractive, sometimes, I think I can very cute, and I'm a bit chubby but it's the comfortable chubby, just padding on all sides.

Lately I've been trying hard to make some adjustments with my body... And I was starting to actually take pride in it. Now, well... No so much now....

CONSIDERING IT'S ALMOST 6 AM...

So, I've decided now.... Finally, after thinking it for so long that it's true now.

I am prepared.

I am prepared to be alone forever.

Cause it seems very apparently that I was right.

No one will want me, or ever want to love me.

Ever.

... BUT HOW DO I USE IT?! OAO *Didn't think about that*

Someone tell me how to use a SUBSCRIPTIOOON...

BTW, TY to for the Subbie~ EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT! 8D

On other news.... Christmas break from school~ I seriously needed one... >A< Sooo badly...

Alot of stuff going on, blah blah, but nothing too interesting.

Felt like I needed a update.

And I Need a new sketchbook.

And I need to post some sketches.

.... yup. =w=~

Anyone know how to upload and make journal layouts? Or at least, what to use... Since I should be able to know how from school... =w=

I'm guessing I'm supposed to write 8 things about my OC's....?? XD;;

tagged by:

Rules:
- publish these rules in your journal
- each tagged person will write 8 little known things about their character/characters
- at the end you will choose 2 people who will be tagged and publish their icons. It's not that hard, so TAG PEOPLE DAMNIT!
- don't tag the person who has already tagged you.

1. Avery is self concious about her breast size (She thinks she's too small), especially when other girls are around when she's with Ameron.

2. Vexrya lost her voice when she woke up as a Nobody, but is slowly regaining it as her human side is being brought out, usually when she spends time with Acitaun.

3. Nana is the aggressive one of the trio. She's rough and can be kinda crazy sometimes, but is shy towards affection.

4. Charlie no longer trusts serious relationships the way she used to since her last boyfriend broke up with her. He went into outter space and hasn't come back, it's been a full year. She used to have a crush on James, but hasn't seen him in a year and a half. Feels abandonned by alot of people.

5. Audrey "Rei" loves watching TV, and used to be a TV attraction herself in Japan when she was a child. Photographers who sought out Spirit Photos came to her to take pictures because her PK Abilities attracted the spirits. She's also a fan of cosplay and her favorite show is currently The Contestants *TheContestants She's cheering on Uriel and Eclipse, secretly.

6. Zippers' mouth is zipped for a reason. He can't talk, only belt out loud country music. He also is allergic to dandelions fluffs, despite the fact he has no nose...

7. Buttons clothes don't have any zippers or something. He only uses buttons and has detachable hands to do his clothes up. He can replace his hands with giant buttons saws and grins while trying to slice you up. Seems to like to set himself on fire too...

8. Hakuro is mean, sadistic and loves pretty girls, but is a show off towards kids. Is not ashamed to steal credit to make himself look good. Not that he can't back it up.

I tag.....

Tag...

and !!

Ok so.... I'm typing this up at the college I'm going to. Yes. College.... =A=;; I MADE IT.... XD;;

Soo alot of stuff has happened.

-Got into college
-Got promoted in
-Did some stuff in college.
-Surviving currently 2 and a half weeks of school.
-Learnt that coffee is amazing.
-Is learning that coffee effects people strangely like my new British friend beside me.
-Is also learning her Ooklet, a mini version of my school mascot, is EVIL and wants to get me.
-Broke headphones. Again.
-Got promoted AGAIN in
-Is learning it's hard work. =w=
-Other new friend just walked in with a bright neon pink jacket. XD;;
-Is having more time drawing in class then at home....
-Will upload later.
-Also somehow acquired the nickname... "Left Nut" Cause I told my new friends who I have more balls then all my guy friends combined. (AND IT'S TRUE.... Figuratively....)

So yeaaaaah~ So far, it's good, but I'm sleepy.... =w=;; *sips her cappuchino* On an awesome note, there's a StarBucks across the street and Tim Hortons downstairs. =w=~<3

Friends:


This needs to be updated still...... =A=

AWESOME ARTISTS! (Slowly coming up to date.....)




CLUBS: